


The Broken Machine

by lori_yuy



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII (Video Game 1997), Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020), Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
Genre: Babies, Cuddling & Snuggling, Cute, F/M, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Mildly Suggestive, Multi, Time machine, Toddlers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:15:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26076286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lori_yuy/pseuds/lori_yuy
Summary: The WRO dug up and sent a curious piece of machinery to Rufus and the Turks from Bone Village.  They get into trouble when Reno's potty mouth and curiosity got the better of him.
Relationships: Aerith Gainsborough & Tseng, Elena & Reno (Compilation of FFVII), Elena/Tseng (Compilation of FFVII), Reno & Tseng (Compilation of FFVII), Reno/Rude (Compilation of FFVII), Rufus Shinra & Tseng, Rufus Shinra/Tseng, Zack Fair/Aerith Gainsborough
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	The Broken Machine

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MeChewChew](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeChewChew/gifts).



> This fic assumes original FF VII ages, where Tseng was older than Rufus by quite a few years.
> 
> The timeline is post Advent Children.
> 
> From old original FF VII guides, Reno's hair is dyed red.

They huddled around the large bulky box with curiosity.

Addressed From: Bone Village Excavation Site #5A  
Addressed To: WRO Headquarters, Edge, Director Reeve  
Re-routed To: Healen Lodge, Director Tseng

A neatly printed set of notes came with the package.  
"This was sent to the WRO HQ. I thought you'd like to have a look at it and decide what to do with it - Reeve Tuesti"

Tseng pulled out the rest of the notes from the envelope and read the hand-written record out loud.

"Unearthed year 09 on July 27th, North Bone Village, Excavation Site 5A. This is believed to be a time machine that was built around 1250 years ago. Last record of time machine invention was found on stone tablets around two miles from the site of the machine, also dated around the same period."

The note was dated less than a week ago, by an artifacts expert from the excavation site. Reno was already tearing his way into the package. A large machine was carefully packed inside the box.

"A time machine?" Reno looked up when Tseng finished reading. Tseng nodded. "Apparently so...although given its age, it's probably only fit to go into a museum."

"Tch, you're not going to even try it before handing it off to a museum boss? We've got a TIME MACHINE! Rude, help me lift it out of the box." Reno was vibing with excitement.

"Interesting..." Rufus seemed to be equally intrigued by the machine now sitting on their livingroom floor.

Rude and Tseng exchanged looks with each other. Out of the five of them, only three of them were level-headed and cautious.

"Reno, do you REALLY think it's a good idea to mess with it? We don't know how it works at all. What if it does something irreversible?" Rude asked as he stared into Reno's eyes.

Reno heaved an exagerrated sigh. "It's called simple curiosity partner!....what if we could reverse the President's physical disability with it?"

At that, Rufus perked up from his wheelchair. The prospect was there afterall, it is a time machine afterall according to the scientific notes.

"Reno, Rude, investigate the thing and see if you can get it to work and figure out its controls."

Tseng raised an eyebrow at Rufus. Not that he didn't understand where Rufus was coming from. Given the opportunity to reverse the damage done to his body, Rufus would definitely take the risk. That would be ruthless however but Rufus hasn't always cared. Tseng, however, did not want to deal with the possibility of something irreversible happening to the President.

~...~

"And what does this button do?" Reno pressed the switch.

"Nothing."

"And this one?"

"Nope."

"Grrr...none of these buttons work! Do you think it's so old the buttons got sealed shut by dirt?" Reno was fiddling with every combination of buttons he can think of.

"Still nothing, and it's highly likely it's just old and broken." Rude replied.

Reno glanced at his partner. "Maybe it had a power source of some kind? Like batteries?"

Rude flipped the machine to its side, then to its bottom, and back around. "I don't see anything that could be a power input, nor indications it needs batteries."

Rude, being adept at machinery, had his own interests piqued now. There weren't any seams to the machine that would suggest how it was even put together in the first place. He flipped it around a couple more times looking for clues. This would be a feat in engineering to build without any visible marks of craftsmanship. It looked and felt like one solid block of stone, but the material was lighter than any stone he knew of.

"Are you two still at it?" Elena's voice sounded from the entrance of the kitchen. "I made dinner and it's getting cold."

"Eat without us, we're gonna be here for a bit longer." Reno replied as he pressed another set of buttons, examining it for any mechanisms that he could get into.

Elena had stepped up behind them silently.

"....eww, you didn't even clean it before messing with it?" She made a face then started wiping down the top of the machine with the kitchen cloth in her hand. She yelped when the top suddenly popped open to show a shiny ball-like thing.

"Elena! YOU GENIUS! What did you do?" Reno yelled at her in excitement.

"I ....I wiped it down?" She stuttered in confusion.

Reno paid her little attention and started pressing the buttons anew. Rude watched in silence before nodding at Elena. "Go eat, you've got Reno fired up."

Half an hour later, Reno was huffing and puffing in frustration and exasperation. He angrily slapped his hand on top of the shining ball and yelled at it. "You piece of shit machine!! Worth NOTHING!"

Rude was about to say something when a bright white light flooded the room originating from the machine, blinding everything in sight.

"RENO! WATCH OUT!!" When the lights died down, all the electricity within the Lodge had also went off.

"WHAT HAPPENED??" Tseng's alarmed voice boomed in the dark. Elena came out soon with a lit candle.

"Uwaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!" a shrieking cry came in the general direction of where Reno was last.

~...~

The lights did not come back till another ten minutes later, but in the dimly lit candle light, Rufus and the rest of the Turks found themselves staring at a dilemma. A child, barely 3 or 4 years old in age, was standing next to the machine. He has medium brown hair, no familiar cheek tattoos, but the blue-green of the eyes were unmistakably Reno's.

"...Reno?" Rude managed after staring for a few minutes.

"Weno?" the child repeated.

"Uh...what's your name buddy?" Rude asked as he squatted down next to the child.

"My name is Wiky!" The child replied enthusiastically, seemingly captured by the shine of the bald man's head.

"Ricky?" Rude made an educated guess as he observed the child that was his partner.

Tseng came up behind him. "What happened?"

'Ricky' ran and hid in Rude's arms and started sobbing. Rude picked him up and consoled the crying boy.

"Tseng, I think you're scaring him. And to your question, time machine." Rude replied in typical Rude fashion.

Tseng took a step back to give the child some space. He didn't know what he did to scare the kid, but as far as he can tell this was actually Reno.

"Yes, his name was Ricky before he joined the Turks." Tseng stated as he eyed the kid. He picked Reno up from the slums as a thin teenager who was up to no good. Reno back then was already incredibly fast and agile and it took Tseng a couple of turns and twists before he had caught up to the kid who stole his wallet that day. By that time, Reno had already tattooed his cheeks, dyed his hair red, and ran a small street gang of his own. This was the first time Tseng's ever seen a much younger version of him. Tseng frowned as the words that Rude uttered earlier sank in.

"...time machine?" Rude's confirmation did not make Tseng feel better. "Are you saying we just lost Reno to the machine's doing?"

Rufus came up behind them in his wheelchair when the lights came back on. "Oh my...is that Reno?"

Reno's eyes lit up. "CAR!" He reached out towards Rufus, almost falling out of Rude's arms. Rude pulled him back as Rufus chuckled.

"Well isn't he enthusiastic. Do you want to ride the 'car'?" He took little Reno from Rude's arms and sat him down in his lap. Rufus navigated his automated wheelchair at a warping speed, causing the child to squeal in delight.

"Well? Are you going to tell me what happened?" he asked his subordinates as he whizzed past them.

"Sir, it looks like Reno accidentally activated the time machine." Tseng reported while running behind them.

"And this is the result?" Rufus glanced back.

"Yes. It seems like it took him back to his childhood." Tseng was following perfectly behind to no one's surprise.

"Well, that's unfortunate but not the worst thing that could have happened."

"Sir, slow down, you're going to slam into a wall if you're not careful."

"Hmm." Rufus finally stopped after a few more minutes of zooming around.

Reno climbed out of his lap and ran back to Rude at top speed, colliding with impact into the man's chest, knocking Rude off balance. Rude clamped onto the child as he fell back but the boy was now rubbing his bald head enthusiastically.

"He was fast alright...and good tackle!" Elena commented as she helped Rude get back up.

"I'm hungry!" the child declared all of a sudden.

Elena gave him a side eye. "Of course you are! I told you I made dinner earlier and you wouldn't come eat." Rude took him to the dining room. Elena and Rude watched the child wolf down the stuffed omelettes and fried chicken, then drank the entire glass of milk all too quickly.

*HICCUP* .... uh oh...*HICCUP* ... *HICCUP*

Elena frowned at the little jump every time Reno hiccuped.

"Senpai, how do you cure hiccups again?" She asked Rude who was eating his dinner.

"Hit him in the stomach."  
"I don't think that's a good idea."  
*HICCUP*

"Make him hold his breath."  
"I'm not comfortable doing that to a kid."  
*HICCUP*

"Scare him."  
*HICCUP*

Elena got up and dragged Tseng into the dining room. "Director, scare him."

Reno took one look at the intense gaze that Tseng bore into him and started crying while still wracked by hiccups in between sobs. Tseng sighed and picked up the boy and patted his back gently. Soon enough, Reno's hiccups stopped and he stopped sobbing as well. A smile was now on his face and his big dreamy blue-green eyes were drooping with sleepiness. Elena was flabbergasted. She was already in love with the Director, but this was topping on the cake.

"Where did you learn that from Director?"

"I used to watch Aerith when she was little, and she was level 50 in comparison to Reno, who is around level 20 difficulty." He replied nonchalantly.

"You also used to watch Rufus." Rude added with a quirk of his lips.

"Can you take Reno overnight?" Tseng asked as he handed the half-asleep boy to Rude.

"Sure thing boss."

The boy clung to him in the bed they usually shared. Rude glanced down at the little mop of messy hair and ruffled it. "Well...I guess I'm taking care of you now."

In the latter half of the night, Rude felt the child's form shift slowly, and finally a familiar arm rested on his stomach. He turned on the lights to see the form of his partner draped over him, with his shock of red hair, face tattoos in place, and was asleep soundly. He sighed in relief. The effect of the "time machine" didn't last very long. Maybe it was just a "piece of shit" as Reno aptly put it. While they did manage to activate it, he wasn't sure it did what it was supposed to, but he's glad to have his partner back.

~...~

"So it's temporary?" Elena asked as she curiously examined the machine for herself the next day.

"As you can see." Reno replied as he turned around and around for her to examine him.

"I'm glad it's not permanent." Rude replied and Reno turned around to smirk at his partner.

"Oh? I thought you said 'you'd take care of me from now on'. Are you going back on your words?" Rude gave Reno a look.

"You remember what I said last night?" Reno nodded and slyly wrapped his arms around his partner in front of Elena. Usually they kept these things private, but he couldn't help himself at the moment. "I'm hurt Rude, will you still take care of me?...tonight?"

Rude peeled Reno off of him as Elena's face was turning redder than an apple. "Yes."

"Well I guess I have something to be thankful for with this dumb piece of shit machine." Reno commented as he backed off.

A flash of white suddenly started before anyone could react. The power to the complex was taken down once again.

"BOSS!!! TSENG!!!" Reno yelled in a panic as a fast-crawling baby Elena dragged herself along the floor of the livingroom. Rude reacted as soon as he could see from the blinding light and grabbed the infant before she could crawl away.

Tseng broke into the room soon after and gawked at the baby girl struggling in Rude's arms.

"Ababbbabbbaaa!!" Baby Elena babbled a bunch of nonsense, but she was reaching her little arms towards Tseng.

"Catch." Rude tossed the baby towards Tseng, who caught her perfectly but gave Rude a stern lecture about throwing babies.

"I'm guessing this is also an accident?" Tseng finally asked after he finished scolding.

"Yeah...but now I have an idea what activates the stupid pi...uh the machine." Reno corrected himself before he could cause anymore potential accidents.

"Very good, we can avoid .... stop eating my hair." Tseng pulled several long strands of hair now coated in saliva from Elena's mouth. She giggled and grabbed two fistfuls of his hair and began pulling. "Ack....Elena...Elena please stop..." Tseng struggled with the baby, trying to get her away from his hair.

Rufus's wheelchair rolled up behind him. "Hm...I think she likes you." Tseng turned around and mumbled something before running off to the bathroom. "Pardon me Sir." He said as he dropped Elena into Rufus's lap once he got her hands untangled.

"Hahaha, I see your obsession with Tseng hasn't dulled a single bit. Too bad he's mine. I like you though, you're spunky." Rufus cooed at her as she grabbed onto his blanket.

"Aahahbbabubba!!" she replied something unintelligible back as she wiggled her way off the wheelchair and crawled off too quickly. "Yep, a spunky hyper little girl."

When Tseng came back, his hair was tied up into a bun. He caught the little escape artist down the hall and heaved her up. Her face turned into a frown when she saw that her favorite hair got tied up. She started struggling and kicked him multiple times and almost fell out of his arms. She was dangling from his hand with him holding her by her feet as he took her back to the livingroom and settled into the sofa. "Elena..be good and I'll read you stories." he said as he tapped her little nose.

"We have storybooks?" Reno asked as he sat down next to them, picked up, cradled, and started tickling baby Elena.

"I have murder mystery books." Rufus offered.  
"I have martial arts books." Rude added.

"I'll just go with a re-telling of childhood stories from Wutai." Tseng replied as he watched Elena cling to Reno, running curious hands over Reno's smooth chest with his open suit. At least she isn't trying to pull the buttons off of Tseng's suit now.

"A long time ago, there was a village in the remote mountains of Wutai. A little princess was born that day. The king was delighted, but the queen sat there crying as it was not a son. 'There will be no blessings from Leviathan if it's not a boy!' the queen lamented. The princess grew up without the luxury usually showered to a royal family member as the queen did not think she was worthy." Tseng started, but Elena soon started crying loudly.

"Boss, what are you doing telling her about an unworthy girl? You made her upset!" Reno mouthed as he made funny faces at her to try to calm her down but his attempts were in vain.

Tseng sighed. "I wasn't done yet." He poked a finger near Elena's mouth and she grabbed onto it and sucked on it.

"Rude, can you warm some milk? She's hungry."

Rude got up to help prepare the meal for Elena. This was probably the first time they've had to try to feed someone so young.

"We don't have any bottles..." Reno suddenly realized. Tseng frowned and looked around the room, spotting the bottled waters they had around the Lodge. "I can do something about that."

He dumped the water into a bowl, poked small holes into the cap with a pin, and put the semi-warm milk into the bottle, tossing it a few times to ensure the milk comes out of the bottle properly.

"Holy Shiva, the sheer mom energy..." Reno commented as he watched his boss toting the infant in his arms while feeding her milk from a plastic bottle.

"One day, the princess wandered off from the palace into the mountains as her nanny had not been watching her closely. She got lost in the forests of the mountains and before she could find her way out, it was already dark. The sounds of the mountains scared her and she didn't know if she was going to be eaten by wolves. She found the entrance of a cave soon and its warmth invited her in. 'Who goes there?' a voice boomed at her in the darkness of the cave. She turned around to see a pair of golden eyes. The eyes of Leviathan himself...." Baby Elena drifted off to sleep in Tseng's arms.

Elena woke up wrapped comfortably in a blanket. It seemed to be still early in the morning. An unusual warmth surrounded both sides of her. She cracked open her eyes and saw silky strands of black hair to her right, and to her left side, a mop of blond.

She sat up with a start. "OH NO."

Tseng stirred next to her, an arm still holding her around her waist in his sleep. Well this is embarrassing...

She blushed profusely as she decided whether she wanted to stay or to bolt. Lines of fairy tale verses suddenly ran in her mind from faint memories of the day before. "Ah...." She remotely remembers crawling away at top speed and being chased down multiple times, climbing up and down sofas and wheelchairs, pulling on Tseng's hair...and maybe eating it, rubbing Reno's chest, and something about being fed milk and falling asleep to a calming voice.

"Mm....Elena?" Shit..he was waking up.  
"B-boss. I-I can go to my own bed now. Thanks for taking care of me!" She managed to squeak out.

"Hm...go." He mumbled as she crawled over him to get off the huge king sized bed. She looked back and saw that Tseng was already falling back asleep, snuggled against Rufus.

Heh...she must have tired him out yesterday. "Thanks for the nice fairy tale, Director. You'll need to tell me more next time."

She got the treat of seeing sleepy Tseng out of the ordeal at least.

~...~

Rude and Tseng stood in front of the offending machine as Reno waved his arms around excitedly in his explanation.

"It's word activated, but I think it can potentially do different things based on what's said."

"And you have a clue what words activated it the last two times?" Tseng asked as he glanced at the stone-like piece of machinery.

"Uh huh pretty sure! ... but I'd have to test it out."

"No." Two simultaneous replies reached Reno.

"Aww, come on, it can't be that bad, it's only half a day's worth of effects because it's defective as heck." Reno tried to convince the two. "Besides, I think you two would be cute kids."

"I was." Rude defended himself.

"I wasn't." Tseng replied blandly.

"Heh...anyways....PIECE OF SHIT!!" Reno screamed suddenly as he grabbed one of Tseng's hands and one of Rude's hands and placed them on the machine. The blinding white light came through just like he had predicted. "Hahahaha I KNEW IT!"

The sound of Rufus's wheelchair and Elena's heels came up behind him as Reno now held the hands of two toddlers, maybe around 3 years old but thankfully not infants.

Rufus's eyes widened as he looked at the toddler with pink chubby mochi cheeks and a little top bun. "I-is that Tseng?"

"SENPAI!! I thought we weren't going to do this anymore!" Elena yelled at him.

"But look at how cute they are!" Reno replied feigning innocence.

"You did bad things!" a boy in a brown mop of hair with a pouty face chided Reno as he looked him up and down.

"Okay Rude, you don't have to be so serious. Relax!" Reno patted him on the shoulders and ruffled the unexpected mop of hair.

"I'm not rude, YOU'RE rude!" the boy bit back.

"Uh...I guess..." Reno realized belatedly that 'Rude' may not be the boy's name...of course Rude wouldn't be.

"What's your name?"

"Alex."

"Pfffttt."

"See, you ARE rude!"

"And you're a little shit." Reno replied while smiling the whole time at his now kid partner.

"Bad words!!" 'Alex' freaked out over Reno's comment.

"Yeah yeah." Reno dug out his PHS to snap a few photos of the boy.

"What's that?" kid Rude asked out of curiosity.

"It's a phone. I'm taking a photo of you." Reno replied as he scrolled to the gallery to show him the newly taken picture.

"That's me! Camera?" The boy asked curiously.

"It's a phone, but it has a camera." Reno replied and the boy scooted closer to squint at the device. Reno looked at the curious boy. "Oh? Do you want to play with it?" Little Rude nodded and was delighted when Reno handed his phone to him.

Rufus huffed in the corner. "Are you letting technology babysit for you now Reno?" He picked up the other toddler. "What's your name?"

"???" The boy stayed mute.  
"...." Rufus looked confusedly at the boy before something clicked in his brain.

"/what is your name/?" Rufus asked him again in Wutaiian. As part of training growing up, he had taken lessons in Wutaiian, a strategic move and also a politically advantageous one for negotiations. It helped him understand cultural differences and he had Tseng to give him extra lessons and practice the language.

"Wen." the boy replied and perked up when he understood what was being said. "I'm hungry." The boy declared as he smelled food coming from the other room.

"OH SHIT." Elena suddenly bolted as she heard the pot overboiling in the kitchen. 'Wen' laughed at Elena panicking as Rufus put him down in his lap on the wheelchair.

"What's your name?"

"Me? I'm Rufus, you should remember it."

"Roof-us?"

"...close enough."

"Your name is funny."

Rufus couldn't contain his smile. The Tseng he knew would have never said that to his face. He knew his father named him something embarrassingly close to a dog's name but no one had the galls to make fun of him for it till now.

As they sat around the dining table eating lunch, Rufus was finding that he was falling more in love with little Tseng. The boy sitting in his lap was critiquing his habits in his pipsqueak voice and there was a jiggle to his mochi cheeks every time he turned his head too fast.

"You have too much food in your bowl! Leviathan will gobble you up if you don't eat it all!" Tseng declared as he pointed to Rufus's bowl. Little Tseng was way more talkative than any of them could have predicted. "Elena, are you recording this?"

"Yes Boss." Elena's smile was gleeful as she recorded the mochi-cheeked boy giving lectures in Wutaiian. They were having soup noodles that Elena made. Rufus sipped the soup once before adding soy sauce to it.

"That's too much soy sauce! You can't have that much!" Tseng squealed in complaint and grabbed the bottle out of Rufus's hands.

"See, it says, 'don't put too much!'" He exclaimed as he pointed to a block of text on the bottle that clearly wasn't in Wutaiian.

"I see...is that what it says?" Rufus was holding back his laughter as he squinted at the tiny text.

'Allergen warning: Contains soy products. Processed in a facility that also processes nuts and eggs.'

"Uh huh, and if you eat too little, the spiky haired man will be mad."

Rufus looked at him. "What spiky haired man?"

"The one in the corner with the black spiky hair! and his girlfriend!" Little Tseng pointed to a patch of sunlight in the corner. Elena's face dropped and she turned a shade paler when Rufus translated what Little Tseng just said. "D-don't say stuff like that!" Reno looked up at the strange exchange. "Is he suggesting we have ghosts in the room?"

*POP*

The loud noise scared Elena out of her chair and she screamed. Reno looked down to see little Rude had popped the back of his phone open, and was pulling out the batteries, chip card....OH SHIT. He took the phone away from the boy before he could try pulling off pieces of the controller chip and parts from the camera.

"Hey hey...I know you're mechanically inclined but not with my phone please."

They watched the two kids run around the living room after lunch. Little Tseng tripped on his own feet a lot and ended up flat-facing onto the floor quite a few times, but gets right back up to run again. Rufus couldn't contain his laughter now at his clumsiness. Little Rude was much better athletically but they had to keep watch on him because he tried to take anything he could get his hands on apart. Presently, the two kids were in a game of tackle tag.

"Dafu be looking down at you!" Little Tseng yelled at Rude who was chasing him. Dafu was some local God in Wutai, known for bringing judgment on bad children.

"HELP!! Get OFF!!" Little Tseng was now tackled to the ground, little Rude had him in a headlock. Before anyone could break them up, their bodies started transforming. Adult Rude was soon on top of adult Tseng in a rather suggestive position.

"Uh..sorry." Rude started awkwardly as he saw the boss's flared curtain of hair pinned beneath him.

"Just get off." Tseng gave him a slightly annoyed look. His language was now back to normal as well.

There were now two sets of glares directed at Reno.

"Well...that was fun. Put this thing back together will ya partner?" Reno whistled as he tossed his phone parts at Rude.

Rufus pouted dramatically. "I didn't even get to pinch Tseng's mochi cheeks..."

~...~

"You were so clumsy." Rufus teased as he poked the taught cheeks. "and I really wanted to pinch your baby cheeks..."

"You have other cheeks you pinch on a regular basis." Tseng replied as he pushed Rufus down onto the pillow.

"Your cooperation in Reno's scheme should earn you a punishment." Tseng smirked as his amber eyes locked with Rufus's blue ones.

"Am I going to like this punishment?" Rufus teased back suggestively.

"No, but I will." Tseng replied as he pressed kisses to Rufus's lips.

"You were a twerp....I don't know where you got the idea you were a cute kid partner." Reno mumbled as he nestled up to Rude who was combing a hand through Reno's hair.

"... you're not forgiven just so you know." Rude replied after a good few minutes.

"Sorry...I stuck with the words I knew would turn you guys back fairly quickly at least?" Reno turned to his side and looked into the hazel brown eyes. "You can top ME now instead of Tseng..."

Rude quirked an eyebrow at Reno. "Hmph. Did I awaken something there?"

"Hah....you awakened a jealous horny beast partner. I want you. Now."

Reno nodded to Tseng who had his arms crossed.  
Rufus had his hand on the machine and was clearly a little nervous.

"DUMB PIECE OF SHIT!" Reno yelled at the machine.

They closed their eyes as the white light blinded the room once again.

"WAAAHHHH!!!!" Tseng squinted past the dying light as he saw an infant in its wake, maybe a little over 1 year old.

When the lights died down, Rude picked up the infant who luckily hadn't moved away when none of them could see.

"Uuuu..." baby Rufus babbled with tears in his eyes.

Reno bent down eye-level with Rufus. "Look at you!"

"WAAAAAAHHH."

"Err..." Reno backed off with a dismayed look on his face.

Rude snickered. "I don't think you're as good with kids as you claim to be Reno."

Rude handed him off to Tseng as baby Rufus made grabby hand motions at him.

"Tseng Bao Bao!" he exclaimed in the sweetest little voice as Tseng came closer. Wutaiian words that Tseng had taught young Rufus himself.

Tseng smiled and took the infant into his arms. A strange sense of nostalgia washed over him. "What's your name?"

"Wufus Shinwa!" The baby beemed at him excitedly.  
"Good boy." Tseng patted him on the head.

Elena cooed at him. "Hello there tiny President! You are SO CUTE~" He smiled at her shyly then buried his face in Tseng's hair. Tseng's eyes looked at him with adoring love.

"Wow...have you ever seen him like that before?" Elena whispered to Reno and Rude, eyeing Tseng. Rude knew that Director Veld had sent Tseng to babysit the former VP but had never seen it in action with his own eyes till now. Reno was intrigued as baby Rufus snuggled up to Tseng like it was the most natural thing in the world. "Awwww look! The Director's blushing and smiling like an idiot!"

Tseng ignored Reno's comments as he cuddled baby Rufus to his chest. The sweet little smile he remembered from the past was pasted on his angelic face. He rocked him gently as he walked around the Lodge all day. 'Wufus' would not stop crying if anyone else tried holding him. Tseng didn't mind at all however. With Rufus, he didn't even have to worry about tying his hair back. Rufus did not fuss nor cause him any trouble. He was content to just lounge on Tseng's shoulder all day and cuddle, just like he remembered.

Evening came all too quickly.  
Tseng watched as the infant turned into toddler, toddler turned into child, child into the teen he fell in love with, and finally teen into the adult who is now his lover. He lowered the man down to the floor. "Well?"

"My legs aren't better...." Rufus's voice was tinged with disappointment.

Tseng nodded. "I see. Let's get you back in your wheelchair then."

"Mm. I really missed the feeling of being held by you like that. I should at least be grateful to experience it again."

The note came in the mail a week later, albeit a little too late.

"The words 'Piece of Shit' turns back time to toddlerhood while 'Dumb piece of shit' turns back time to infancy. Exact timing results depend on tone and volume of the words. This machine was apparently originally designed as a prank by the inventor according to the deciphered notes from field archeologists. - Reeve Tuesti."

The broken machine that Reeve sent unfortunately didn't do what they wanted, but they had a ton of fun with it.

"Well...let's get this hunk of junk packed, shall we?" Reno asked and they all nodded in agreement.

Cloud Strife from Strife Delivery Service looked at the package dubiously when he picked it up.

"Didn't I just drop this thing here two weeks ago? What, you want a return to sender or something? Either you or Reeve better pay me well, it's heavy."

Reno smirked. "Yeah yeah...here." He waved enough gil to catch Cloud's eyes. "Send it to Junon's Museum of History would'ya?"

**Author's Note:**

> Tseng is mama.
> 
> "Bao Bao" has multiple meanings in Chinese, but in this case, it means 'hold me' in baby lingo.
> 
> Baby Rufus recognized Tseng because only he had memories of him from childhood.
> 
> Thank god that the machine is semi-broken and actually a piece of shit? ^_~
> 
> Zack and Aerith were watching over Tseng...
> 
> I entirely made up the fairy tale for Elena's part.
> 
> Little Tseng's dialog was an actual dialog between a Japanese dad and his daughter in a video that I really like.
> 
> I'd like to credit MeChewChew for the Wufus baby ideas and images. This fic is for you!


End file.
